Reincarnation
by Fading wind
Summary: Maybe next lifetime. [SasuNaru musings]


Title: Reincarnation  
Pairing: SasuNaru  
Rating: G  
Spoilers: Not really...  
Warnings: Shounen-ai. Angst. Musings about reincarnation that are not as philosophical as it sounds. xD  
Word Count: 1,022  
Disclaimer: No own.  
Author's Notes: Un-beta'ed. Read one or two fics about reincarnation and lifetimes and such about two weeks ago, and today I felt the strong urge to write something about reincarnation too. So, here it is, after spending one idle hour of my PE lesson (I was off swimming) and part of my Maths lesson (we had a test and I finished early) musing over various ideas concerning reincarnation.

**Reincarnation**

Remember, Naruto? Kakashi once asked us all what we thought came after death.

You immediately answered that you believed in heaven.

Kakashi hadn't looked too surprised, really. But then he asked you whether you believed in hell, then, because heaven must, certainly, come with hell.

"Hmm... I think hell is only for really, really bad people. And I don't really care about hell, because of course I'll go to heaven!"

I regarded you for a long moment. You didn't notice.

Kakashi smiled. "Yeah, you're too stupid to do anything bad enough to get you sent to hell."

You opened your mouth to protest, but Sakura said, "I believe in reincarnation."

"Huh? What's that?" You, bring the usual baka, said.

"Reincarnation is when the soul comes back to the world in another body," Sakura explained. "But you won't remember anything that happened to you in your past life. I mean, isn't it exciting to think that we've all lived several lifetimes before this one?"

You frowned. "That sounds really complicated. I like the idea of heaven more."

"It's an interesting idea," Kakashi said.

"What do you believe, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked, cheeks flushed.

I had thought about death a lot. "There is nothing after death," I replied after taking a deep breath.

Kakashi's face seemed to be saying, "as to be expected from _Uchiha_ Sasuke". Sakura looked disappointed, almost. You looked slightly confused.

"But there must be _something_ after death," you said.

"Why's that?"

You couldn't answer. There was silence. It wasn't awkward or anything. Not to me, at least, but Sakura didn't look too happy about it, so she spoke.

"Kakashi-sensei, what about you?"

"... Maybe I agree with Sasuke." Kakashi's face was blank.

Remember that, Naruto?

I wonder if you can now understand reincarnation. If you've changed your mind and stopped believing in heaven.

I'd tried to believe in hell a long time ago. Because if there was a hell, my brother would certainly burn in it. I liked imagining him burning in hell.

But, as Kakashi-sensei said, heaven and hell come together. If I believed in hell, then I must believe in heaven as well, and heaven was too perfect a concept to exist.

Anything that is perfect and everlasting cannot possibly exist.

So, heaven and hell were outruled.

I had never really thought about reincarnation before Sakura brought it up. And then I'd rejected the idea at once.

But now, I want to believe in reincarnation. I _want _to.

And it's all because of you. Yes, you, Naruto.

I've spent the whole of these three years away from you contemplating death.

Reincarnation doesn't sound as impossible as it had anymore.

Maybe it's because I want it to happen.

I want to live another lifetime, Naruto. I want to live a couple more lifetimes.

Because this lifetime has been _terrible_. I want another lifetime as someone else. Not an Uchiha. Not a person who has had their whole clan killed. Not a person who is trying his best to kill his own brother for revenge. Not a person who is training under one of the most evil people known. Not a person who has betrayed their own village and best friend.

If possible, I don't even want to be a ninja. Because living as a ninja is terrifying. Thrilling sometimes, yes, but always terrifying. And tiring, too.

I'd like to have a normal occupation which I don't have to train all the time and get used to screams and bloodshed.

And I'd like you to be in my next lifetime, Naruto.

Maybe next lifetime we'll be two normal boys. Two normal best friends who will bicker and tease each other but never try to spill each other's blood.

Maybe next lifetime we'll be carefree and happy. You won't have a demon in your body and I won't resemble a demon. We won't be orphans. We'll have a nice family who will care for us and make sure we won't take the wrong way in life.

Maybe next lifetime we'll... I'll tell you something that I've never dared to tell you because we were too young back then and I was too scared. Something that I don't think I'll ever get the chance to tell you this lifetime. Yes, I'll tell you that next lifetime. I'll tell you how sorry I am for doing all these terrible things to you and how much I treasure our relationship and how much... how much I love you.

Maybe next lifetime we both won't remember this one. Maybe we might. I wonder, Naruto, if you've loved someone fiercely in one lifetime, loved them so much that it seemed impossible to breathe, loved them so much it seemed like you would burst with that love... would you remember that person in the next lifetime? I don't claim to love you that much, really. I don't think that I love you enough to be able to remember you in my next lifetime. Anyway, I don't want to remember. Because next lifetime I probably won't be as strong as I am in this one, and maybe I'll be nearly reduced to tears at thinking about all those things I've done to you. All that fighting and hurting each other and _killing _each other.

It feels weird to think about how I'll be like next lifetime... Will I be a completely different person? Will _you _be a completely different person?

And suddenly, I realize maybe I won't love you next lifetime.

But I don't want to think like that. I _will_, I _have _to love you next lifetime. Even... Even if you don't love me back. I'll have to love you with all my heart to make up for what I've done this lifetime...

I remember how you said reincarnation sounded very complicated. I'd wanted to call you 'dobe' for that. Actually, now that I really think hard about reincarnation, it makes my head hurt more than all the harsh training. It _is _very complicated.

Maybe next lifetime you won't be stupid.

Maybe next lifetime _I _won't be stupid.

Maybe next lifetime we can be together.

Maybe next lifetime.

**The End**


End file.
